Going off to war I said good bye to my family I was starting to cry and it was time to go off to war. We travelled by boat then we made it to the island. I was ready to go off to war. We arrived at 5am because we could bomb them while they were sleeping. Suddenly I got shot! I thought I was going to die. The soldier next to me picked me up and put me back in the boat. He said to stay there. The man went back to fight.
I went to sleep in the boat and when I woke up I was in the hospital, bleeding like crazy. The man who picked me up was next to me he was checking if I was OK. The doctor walked into the room and said “you should thank this man for bringing you to the hospital, if he didn’t bring you here you would have died” Then I asked the man to take me home.
We got to my house and I knocked on the door and my mum was shocked that I was still alive. She asked me some questions just to make sure I was her daughter as I had grown a lot older. I said thank-you to the man who rescued me. He said that was alright and he walked off to his car.
Hey Ava, I like how you’ve. made it clear in your writing how much time has passed for the character since the war began. I wonder what this character is going to do now the war is over? Thanks for sharing!
Hey Ava, I really liked how you made the story make me feel something and how I could see what happened. I could just see in my mind exactly what happened even though I wasn’t there. Nice job Ava love the story
Kia ora Ava ! Nice job on Your writing , U did a great job im so proud of u ava keep the work up girl !! <3 – tesreina